What is Reality?
Perception is reality, or is it? Words and actions, operating in tandem, bear powerful witness to the state of one’s heart and soul. What do others see in you? What should they see? What happens when a chasm exists between someone’s perception and reality? The hidden dangers of misperception rise to the surface.
A Deep Divide Between Perception and Reality
We have all done it. Knowingly or not. At one time or another, each of us has formulated a thought about someone based upon our perception, or initial impression. Right or wrong, it happens more often than anyone would probably care to admit. Unfortunately, danger lurks in judgmental thinking and misperceptions.
Let me give you a couple of examples to illustrate this point. Just the other day when my husband and I returned home after running errands, we spotted a police car overtly positioned in front of our house. My initial comment was, “Oh no! What is going on? There’s a police car at our house.” In his typical nonchalant manner, my husband, Tom, tried to reassure me by saying, “No. It is probably here for the neighbor.” Much to our surprise, as we drove into our driveway, the police car pulled up, and an officer exited.
After a brief conversation, we learned an acquaintance of our son had been experiencing some struggles, and law enforcement had been tasked with locating her. Since our son knew her, the officer simply wanted to know if he had heard anything.
In this example, both my husband’s and my initial perceptions had been inaccurate. The officer was not at our home for anything directly pertaining to our family. Furthermore, what if our neighbors noticed the police car camped out in front of our home (as I am sure they did)? What would be their perceptions? Positive or negative? Let us be honest here, dear friend, the typical reaction to seeing a police vehicle is in the ballpark of “Uh-oh….” Am I right? Dangerous assumption, or misperception.
Another example involves driving. Have you ever been driving, simply minding your own business, and a car zooms past you, materializing out of nowhere? Some common thoughts, or perceptions, about the erratic nature of the driver might center around: their age (i.e., an inexperienced youth with a “need for speed” or an unaware elderly driver), their gender (i.e., stereotypical comments around women drivers), or some other impression. However, what if the individual’s erratic driving could be explained by an emergency? Perhaps the person whizzing by your car at breakneck speed was in the middle of experiencing an emergency, either theirs or a loved one’s. Truth is, you just do not know. Dangerous assumption, or misperception.
Dangerously Flawed Perceptions of Christians…Or Are They?
“Christians are uppity. They act like they are better than everyone else.” What an appalling thing to say! Others, however, might think it is an honest, bold thing to say. On one occasion, a young person articulated his thoughts and feelings just this way to me when talking about faith. Wanting to know more, I asked him to elaborate, and he did.
Grateful for the insight, I learned why this young man felt the way he did. According to him, the Christians he encountered were difficult to know and made him feel unworthy because they gravitated to others like themselves. He noted how they treated him in a judgmental way because of the mistakes he had made. Unfortunately, and for this reason, he had grown into someone who questioned whether Christian faith would hold any value in his life.
This young man concluded our bombshell discussion with such profound, thought-provoking comments. The air seemed as if it took on a heaviness all its own from the weight of this young man’s remarks, which went something like this…
I do not know if I believe in church and God because those who call themselves Christians do not act any differently than someone like me. Why would someone who says they are a Christian speak and behave in ways that seem to contradict what God says? How is being a Christian different than not being one? As far as I can tell, there really is no difference.
As a Christian, my heart hurt realizing his perception is likely shared with countless others. Therefore, what can we, as a faith community of Christians, do to heal the great divide between people’s misperceptions about Christianity and the reality of grace and love which reside with a faith in Christ?
What Scripture Says about Perceptions of Christians
According to Scripture, the Apostle Paul and his missionary partner, Timothy, wrote to the Philippians and instructed them, saying, “Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ…” (Philippians 1:27, NIV). As Christians, can each of us honestly profess to always act in a Christ-like manner? What about when a driver cuts you off in traffic? Or, when someone says, or does, something which deliberately hurts you?
The Apostle Peter in his first letter, addressed to persecuted Christians, reminds them of the powerful influence their speech holds. He writes, “If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God…” (1 Peter 4:11, NIV). What you say matters. How you say things matters. As Christians, can each of us honestly profess to always speak Christ-like words?
The adage “Do as I say and not as I do” is flawed. In fact, both our words and actions serve as a powerful catalyst. Our words and actions witness to others, influencing perceptions of what living a faith-filled life in Christ truly means…and looks like. There should be no discrepancy between what we say and do. When a difference exists, others begin questioning the validity of all The Church and Christ represent.
Communicating the monumental influence of one’s speech and actions on religion, James in his epistle writes, “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26, NIV). Likewise, he continues by saying, “[F]aith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead” (James 2:17, NIV). Therefore, what you say and do matters.
Closing Thoughts and a Call to Action
Have you ever stopped to consider what your words and actions communicate to others? Would people know you are a Christian simply by observing how you conduct yourself in daily life? What you say and do matters. Your words and actions bear witness to others about the state of your heart and soul. What do others see? Are their impressions accurate, or does a difference exist between their perceptions and your desired reality? May we each seek to speak and act more like Christ. After all, as Christians that is exactly what we are called to do!